my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
