In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
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His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
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