If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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