If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
