can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
