you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
