I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
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