White coat. Heels.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
