If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Randomize
