Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
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