i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
