tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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