Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
