Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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