i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
