You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize