YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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