called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
