i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
