Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
