If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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