Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I need to calm my uterus...
Randomize
