i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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