you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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