My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
