Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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