Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
We got so high we made milksteak
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
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