someone threw a dead crab at me
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Duck Duck Cougar?
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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