I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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