I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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