just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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