i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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