Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
