Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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