Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
