Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
