I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
