There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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