I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize