Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
can u get pink eye on your cock?
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
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