so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
