im drinking this country out of the recession.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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