it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
