I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
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Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
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You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
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