Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
