If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
