He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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