I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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