i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
