Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
My pussy is not your playground.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
