Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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