I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Randomize