I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
