My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
