I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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