god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
