dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
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The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
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