Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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