hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I should be sponsored by Trojan
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
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