I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
