his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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