I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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