Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
