you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
So many bounce houses so little time
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
