everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
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