it's too hot outside to masturbate.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
